You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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