We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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