I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
