I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
