i permit you to call me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
