dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
