Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
