Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They took my balls.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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