a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize