my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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