Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
