rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Small penises have feelings too.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
