I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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