Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
