I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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