Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
