youre lurking in front of me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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