look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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