didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
