He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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