So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
