I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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