Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
