dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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