dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
