k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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