He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
