Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
