Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
