ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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