I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
