How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
