We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
