just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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