I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
