We're like a lot better than the average bears
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
