let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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