ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
