How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
