I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
