Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
