You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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