does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
