a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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