Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
