No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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