just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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