Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
