the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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