You can't motorboat a personality
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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