At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
