We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
